Those who are of high capacity can have a harder time getting in touch with the pain God allows to free you from a greater pain. In truth, you often don’t struggle with life the way many others do. So, it is tempting to surround yourself with others who appear on their game; operating in a higher gear than others. You can be deluded into thinking you are uniquely and largely impervious to need; like you can override need with resolve, skill, resource, ministry and mission. This is where great danger lives. There is a worst day the high capacity person is vulnerable to, maybe more than anyone else. I imagine that I can make something meaningful, that I can create goodness or do this Christian life without actually needing Christ, in this moment. Subtle, it goes like this: “Jesus, I’m deeply grateful for the Cross. I know there are things wrong with me. I don’t do the big sins, but I’m aware for those who have been given much, more is expected. I get that. So, I’ll keep helping those others who seem to struggle so much. I don’t know why they can’t just figure it out and get on with their lives.”
It all carries the illusion that great capacity, intelligence and direction equate to a better life. It does not, necessarily. I can carry a delusion that my sins are of a lesser nature than those of others. Again, I play the fool.
You can come to actually live like you don’t need to trust God for every good thing accomplished. Your worst is day is the day you become seduced into thinking you’re able to pull off anything, without trusting him in everything. You won’t see it right away. That’s why it’s so devious. It might seem like your best day. After all, you were on your game, you pulled off some pretty incredible stuff. But at the root, there is a self-made pride that gives God a tip for capacity and talents. But eventually fruit will be born. It will be rotten and useless. And you will wonder why others don’t let you lead them they way you think they should. Then you will look around and discover you have been paying God off with your efforts, instead of allowing his effort in you to shine in great love.
The goal of this life is not having less issues than others, or even being able, through natural gifting and talent, to do more things for mankind. The goal is always letting Christ be great by our trusting dependence upon his ability in us. As my friend Bill Thrall often says to leaders; “He doesn’t need our excellence. He wants us to trust him, so his excellence can be lived out in us.”
The greatest gift you with high capacity, success and strength can give yourself would be a number of safe others who can tell you what they see. A place where you are loved enough to be able to ask, “How am I affecting you?” They will eventually tell you if you let them. And you may discover you’ve been living many, many worst days, in the midst of your apparent lack of need.
It will take is a humility which allows another in, another who is able to tell you, “You’ve forgotten the only thing that matters, trust working itself out in love.” For you who dare risk such a thing, you are about to experience influence over “success”, being trusted over being accommodated, receiving love, over only giving out appearances of love.
We deeply need you, wonderfully gifted leader. We just first need you to stop believing we need you more than you need him, more than you need us…